Feeling Love, Loved, In Love, and Loving 24/7 by Gary Vacca
God Is Love – 1 John 4:8
From the start let me state my basic premise and that is... feeling love, loved, in love, and loving are gifts you give your self, by becoming consciously aware of the presence of God in, through and as you. Since God is love, and he is expressing himself as you, love and all of its forms is expressing Itself as you right now. The question is, do you realize it? To think that some one else can make you feel love, loved, in love and loving is naiveté. These emotions may seem to be coming from another, but in reality they are coming through another.
The best scenario for a loving relationship is when both people are in-tune with God (love) within themselves. Then they both are open channels for sending and receiving. The love you feel within yourself is the love you have to give to another. Love-filled people feel love within them and then let it flow to others. Feeling love, loved, in love and loving are all states of your consciousness, built by your thoughts and beliefs and therefore becoming a manifestation of your thoughts and beliefs.
Whatever you live in conscious awareness of, you experience. What you are aware of internally is what you experience externally. For instance if I am thinking thoughts of being separated, distant and alienated from another, that will manifest as my experience with that person. On the other hand if I am feeling loved, connected, and at one with someone, that will become my experience. The principle is... as I am within, so it will be without.
The great illusion we have all bought into is thinking that these experiences of love, loved, in love and loving are dependent upon the “right person” showing up in our life. The second illusion we have fallen for is to think that even if the “right person” did show up, that he or she would possess the power to make you feel love, loved, in love and loving. No such person has ever been vested with those powers except you. You are the only one who can make yourself feel love in any of its forms. The experiences of love, feeling loved, in love and loving are all internal experiences... something you feel within yourself. They originate within you. They don’t come from some other person external to you.
We have probably all been in a situation where we really wanted a person to feel loved, but for some reason the other person never really got it. Perhaps the opposite is true also. Maybe someone has told you and shown you that they love you, but for some reason you just didn’t feel it. The point being you can’t make someone feel loved, and no one can make you receive his or her love. It’s an inside job that begins and ends with you.
These loving experiences are not gifts from someone else, but rather are gifts that you give to yourself. Then when someone does show up in your life, that you want to share yourself with you aren’t putting pressure on them to give you something that they can’t give. Depending on some one else to make you feel loved is simply an unreal expectation. When someone senses that you are depending on them to make you feel loved, valued, and appreciated, it literally pushes them away; because in their heart of hearts they know they can’t deliver what you are demanding.
So the solution is to give these gifts to yourself in silence and meditation. By sensing the Presence within you, you most definitely will experience the feelings of love, being loved, in love, and loving. Once you have experienced these feelings within yourself you now have something to give to another. Only that which you discover within yourself, can you give to someone else.
The key is to do within while you are doing without. In other words you can experience love even if you’re in a loveless relationship. You can feel loved even when the other person is not making the effort to make you feel that way. You can experience the joy of being in love, even though there is no spark left. You can feel loving toward another even when there is a lack of logical reasons why you should.
Until you do create these loving experiences within your self, you will never experience them with others; at least not on a long-term basis. The spiritual Law of Attraction states that “like attracts like.” That means, loving people attract loving people. And cold calculating attitudes attract others with the same.
The key is to experience God’s presence. Since God is love, when you experience His presence you experience love in all of its many expressions. It is damaging to your mind, emotions, and body to be in a prolonged period of loveless-ness, or a relationship lacking the consciousness and feeling of love. Since what is in your consciousness is always being manifested, a deficiency of feeling love, loved, in love and loving will manifest itself as a deficiency in your body’s health in one form or another. It may show up as a lack of energy, absence of joy or apathy for life in general. In order to feel completely satisfied and fulfilled we need to feel all four aspects... love, loved, in love and loving.
First we have to realize that love is actually our true nature, it’s who we are. Since scriptures tell us that God is love, and that we are made in his image and likeness, that is our nature also; it is our true identity. Since we are made in his image and likeness and we are his sons and daughters, then what is true of the Father is true of us. When our self-concept agrees with the fact that love is our true nature then it is easier for us to speak and act in loving ways. Anger, resentment, hatred, and other negative emotions have nothing to do with love, therefore they should have nothing to do with us.
Again scriptures and sacred wisdom’s of the world teach us that “ perfect love casts out fear.” Fear is one of the deadliest emotions we can experience. Fear seems to drive many of our decisions. Fear comes wrapped in many packages. For instance fear of making a wrong choice, fear of taking a chance, and even fear of loving and being loved. So the first step into being a complete, fully functioning human being is to realize your true nature is love. Sometimes we have to dig deep past the hurts, pains and disappointments to find love. It is definitely worth the time and effort.
Love is a state of consciousness that is both experience and expression; because the inner experience of love appears as the outer expression. Love must first be experienced within yourself before it is adequately expressed to another. Love is the atmosphere you live in. Love is your natural environment. If you think about it, you are most at peace when you are feeling love and expressing it. Feeling love in any and all of its forms is healthy! And it is a must if you are to live a happy fulfilled life.
What is love? In its true essence it is the presence of God within you. When you are consciously aware of God’s presence within you, you can’t help but feel love. As a result of feeling love within you it resonates through your mind, emotions, body, actions and relationships. So when you feel the presence of God within you, you are feeling love in all of its many expressions. The opposite is true also. When you feel love in any form, you are actually experiencing the presence of God.
Love is a spiritual quality manifested in many forms... spiritually, mentally, and physically. That’s why even in the physical act of making love two people can sense a whole other dimension of caring and tenderness. This is the spiritual quality of love manifesting in the physical relationship between two people.
Once you find and feel this source of love within you, you are free from “needing” other people to love you. It feels good to enjoy being loved by others but it feels pretty rotten on the inside to “need” their love in order to feel good about yourself. When you are free form “needing” love from another you are actually free to give love without expecting it in return. Once you feel the completeness of love within you, the endless pursuit of trying to acquire love ends.
The third ingredient is that of allowing ourselves to be loved. This sometimes is the hardest task of all. It seems so easy to express love through things we say and do but often so difficult to receive love. Yet without the ability to receive love, the circle is broken. All of nature is set up on giving and receiving, sowing and reaping. Those who give are meant to receive. Those who don’t give, short circuit the process from the beginning.
The juice of life is in both the giving and receiving of love. One without the other creates a sense of incompleteness in our heart and soul. To have both the courage to love and the Remember, God is love and there are no negative emotions in God; so there are no negative emotions when you are in love or in a conscious awareness of God.
Since God is love, when you are “in love” you are living in a conscious awareness of God; expressing Himself as you and as the person you are in love with. Being in love means you live in a consciousness of love. Unless you are living in a consciousness of love within yourself you will never feel in love with someone else. It is absolutely possible for you to feel love in a loveless situation, because the feeling of being in love, like all other feelings originates in you. However it is also possible for your relationship with another to be void of expressing love. You can personally be experiencing love within yourself, while at the same time your relationship is not expressing love. The reason being, you cannot control the consciousness of another person. Relationship means... relating to each other. If you are relating love to your partner, but you partner is not relating love to you then the relationship as a whole is not expressing love; even though you may be experiencing it within yourself.
Scriptures teach, “So long as it is possible with you, live in peace with others.” The same can be said of love... “So long as it is possible with you, live in love.” But that doesn’t guarantee that your partner or the other person will accept it or that they will relate in love back to you. Therefore your experience of love in the context of the relationship is lacking or void.
To understand that our true nature is love will lead us to the next factor of life’s equation, and that is the importance of loving. Loving is simply the act of giving who and what you are. You can’t give what you’re not, or what you don’t have. The nature of love is that it must express itself. Love that doesn’t express itself usually withers and dries up much like a rose bloom which never opens; its simply misses the opportunity to come into full bloom, naturally expressing itself and bringing beauty and joy to others. Much like an arm atrophies, which is inactive for an extended period of time, so our ability to love tends to loose its power. Scriptures tell us that “God so loved the world that He gave.” It seems in spiritual and human reality that love and giving go together.
In summary it is possible to feel love, loved, in love, and loving, once you realize that these feelings are already within you and they are gifts you give yourself. They are available to you 24/7 as you become consciously aware of the presence of God within you, manifesting Himself (love) as all that He is, as all that you are. When you are consciously aware of God, you are simultaneously of love, expressing itself in all its many forms and faces.